It is a grim time in America: the economy is in crisis, terrorists threaten to destabilize our allies overseas and our president faces a near-constant barrage of footwear.
For Washington State natives, it's even worse. In addition to the bleak economic landscape, we face an even more desolate sporting one: A winless University of Washington football team, professional football and baseball squads that collapsed from respectability last year to Detroit Lions-level futility and, of course, the loss of the Sonics, only team from our state to ever win a pro championship.
Wait, I forgot the WNBA Champion Seattle Storm.
...
...
Let us move on.
Times like these are when the trivial and diversionary bring us the most comfort. They say the Yankees' playoff run in 2001 brought the city together following the terrorist attacks. Movie spending went up during the Great Depression, as people sought light-hearted comedies to take their minds off of their children's grubby faces.
But we Washingtonians don't have that comfort. Sure I derive grim satisfaction from watching OKC's Thunder vie for all-time futility, I won't deny that. I laughed when P.J. Carlisimo choked away his shot at redemption this year. But that isn't real joy. It's the kind of pleasure that makes you feel smaller afterward. Glad to see someone else brought down, rather than your guys succeed.
A monologue from The Father, by Swedish playwright August Strindberg sums up the experience (just imagine the man is talking about Seattle sports, rather than whining about his wife):
Not that I should complain. I did see Northwestern University finish fourth in the Big Ten, good enough for a bowl appearance against Mizzou. ChuOnThis gambling tip of the day: Bet heavily on Mizzou.
My Dad and brother, though, went to Michigan, which just completed its worst football season in school history. They've taken to muttering dark threats at the mere mention of Rich Rodriguez.
So why choose to stay with teams that bring only sadness? This is America, where people are free to live their dreams and jump on the bandwagon of whatever team succeeds right now. I'm looking at you, guy-from-Los Angeles-with-a-red-sox-hat.
First of all, that betrays a lack of character. Second, I tried it, but it didn't work. I jumped on the Redskins wagon early this season, only to see them fall faster than the S&P 500 shortly after. I tried the Wiz on for size, but rooting for them was almost worse than having no NBA team at all. I thought about rooting for the Titans (my wife is from Tennessee), but she says I'm bad luck and won't let me.
So maybe I should take on the attitude of Strindberg, who once said "People clamor for Enjoyment as though Enjoyment consisted in being foolish. I find enjoyment in the powerful and terrible struggles of life," and embrace the ruin of Seattle sports. Of course, Strindberg also went insane. I guess I'll have to settled for rooting against the Thunder.
For Washington State natives, it's even worse. In addition to the bleak economic landscape, we face an even more desolate sporting one: A winless University of Washington football team, professional football and baseball squads that collapsed from respectability last year to Detroit Lions-level futility and, of course, the loss of the Sonics, only team from our state to ever win a pro championship.
Wait, I forgot the WNBA Champion Seattle Storm.
...
...
Let us move on.
Times like these are when the trivial and diversionary bring us the most comfort. They say the Yankees' playoff run in 2001 brought the city together following the terrorist attacks. Movie spending went up during the Great Depression, as people sought light-hearted comedies to take their minds off of their children's grubby faces.
But we Washingtonians don't have that comfort. Sure I derive grim satisfaction from watching OKC's Thunder vie for all-time futility, I won't deny that. I laughed when P.J. Carlisimo choked away his shot at redemption this year. But that isn't real joy. It's the kind of pleasure that makes you feel smaller afterward. Glad to see someone else brought down, rather than your guys succeed.
A monologue from The Father, by Swedish playwright August Strindberg sums up the experience (just imagine the man is talking about Seattle sports, rather than whining about his wife):
My feelings are more
or less under my control, as my will has not been completely
undermined; but you have gnawed and nibbled at it so that it
will soon slip the cogs, and then the whole mechanism will slip
and go smash. [Pause] I have worked and slaved for you,
your child, your mother, your servants; I have sacrificed promotion
and career; I have endured torture, flagellation, sleeplessness,
worry for your sake, until my hair has grown gray."
Not that I should complain. I did see Northwestern University finish fourth in the Big Ten, good enough for a bowl appearance against Mizzou. ChuOnThis gambling tip of the day: Bet heavily on Mizzou.
My Dad and brother, though, went to Michigan, which just completed its worst football season in school history. They've taken to muttering dark threats at the mere mention of Rich Rodriguez.
So why choose to stay with teams that bring only sadness? This is America, where people are free to live their dreams and jump on the bandwagon of whatever team succeeds right now. I'm looking at you, guy-from-Los Angeles-with-a-red-sox-hat.
First of all, that betrays a lack of character. Second, I tried it, but it didn't work. I jumped on the Redskins wagon early this season, only to see them fall faster than the S&P 500 shortly after. I tried the Wiz on for size, but rooting for them was almost worse than having no NBA team at all. I thought about rooting for the Titans (my wife is from Tennessee), but she says I'm bad luck and won't let me.
So maybe I should take on the attitude of Strindberg, who once said "People clamor for Enjoyment as though Enjoyment consisted in being foolish. I find enjoyment in the powerful and terrible struggles of life," and embrace the ruin of Seattle sports. Of course, Strindberg also went insane. I guess I'll have to settled for rooting against the Thunder.
